Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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