You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
