If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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