I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
