Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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