How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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