Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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