i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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