its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize