All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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