Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
