new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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