he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize