So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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