im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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