I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
