My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
