her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
