the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
how does that bad decision feel?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
