You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
