Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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