So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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