shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
