when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
