somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
