the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
