If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
