yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
