Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
