Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
