Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
