He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
