So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
