What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
