He asked to "fluff my boner.."
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize