JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
