on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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