No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize