It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize