next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
