the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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