I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
