Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
