Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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