I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
