She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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