its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
