i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Operation Purity has been aborted
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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