she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
