I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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