So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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