I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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