That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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