Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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