Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
