So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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