I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
