I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i need to put some appletini on your dick
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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