Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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