I am puke
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
