Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
