I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
