spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
