I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
