Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
