just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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