I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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